Auburn and its' women

A very beautiful someone recently suggested I write a piece on the simple fact that Auburn has the most beautiful women. I wondered if people who read a blog about Auburn sports would want to see this type of article. Then i also began pondering how what the artcile would entail. . . and i concluded that it was a worthy piece to write.

Fact. Auburn women are the most beautiful women in the world. This is especially true if you are an Auburn man yourself. I'm sure you could find a Kentucky, Ole Miss, or Vanderbilt student/alumni who argue that their respective schools house the world's finest selection of females. But being the biased Auburn lover that I am, I will give them credit for having good looking girls, but will never believe that any other schools are capable of allowing a man to sit on a picnic table on a spring afternoon and just watch the "scenery" go by and be in total amazement of its beauty like you can at Auburn. Auburn simply has a larger percentage of these girls than any other school.

Lee Corso said it best. "I love Auburn, Auburn has the most beautiful women in the world..." Although his prediction of the Auburn-Florida game was dead wrong, his statement about Auburn women was dead on. There is nothing better than a girl dressed in orange and blue with a game face tattoo on Saturday. I think it is safe to say it is every man's dream.

After careful consideration and thought I have ranked SEC schools by how beautiful the women there are. Note: little time was spent on numbers 2-12. The number 1 spot however has been determined after a lifetime of thought and research.

1. Auburn
2. Ole Miss
3. Vanderbilt
4. Kentucky
5. Florida
6. South Carolina
7. UGA
T8. Tennessee
T8. LSU
T8. Alabama
T8. Mississippi State
T8. Arkansas

I concede that all school have great looking girls. This list is pretty much a toss up after the 1st five. I basically just went on reputation.

This is why no one wants to coach at Bama

Paul Finebaum (the biggest, biased Bama lover there is) has effectively illustrated for all the world to see, the exact reason no one wants to coach at Bama. And that reason is the same problem that the Israelites had.....a golden calf, or should I say a golden Bear. That gold idol, which sits near the entrance to Jordan Hare - West Wing....is why my grandmother turned down the job at Tuscalooser. The Bama nation has too many lofty expectations for a coach and no patience to see them met. Finebaum wrote a story fabricating a converstaion with the dead Paul "Bear" Bryant. When will they realize how rediculous it is to expect to win a championship and beat all your rivals every year. In today's college football, everyone can play. Plus, remember that "any given saturday" saying? Just ask Mississippi St. They believe it, and you'd think after losing to them, Bama might realize it. The bottom line, is that Bama is too impatient, otherwise they might be moving forward. They should've given Shula more time, believe it or not, he had the program movong forward. If you're gonna hire a rookie HC, you have to provide him time to learn how to win, and Shula was doing it. Just not as fast as the sidewalk alumni wanted, so out the door he goes.

***this is awesome....check out this photo of Finebaum

Hey Bammers....here is a tip....the most important trait of winners is consistency. No, not playing consistently, but consistency in coaching. When you can keep a coach for longer than 4 years, you'll start seeing results. Just ask us Auburn fans. Mind you, we had our growing pains with Tuberville...see 2003. Many people wanted him gone, and I had my doubts too, but boy was I wrong. After Tubs' 5th season, that corner was turned. He has put this program as one of the elite in the nation and in position to win championships. He recruits as good as anyone, and now has high school players thinking Auburn. Consistency is key (Tubs is now 6-2 v Bama, and 5 straight). We've been through several coordinators, but the HC and the way the program is run remains constant, and that is a huge reason for any team's success. Want another example? Hoover. Enough said.

Why is Mal Moore Untouchable? (Scott)

I’m not sure why it is, but for whatever reason being an Auburn fan has me connected to Alabama football in some strange way. On the sporting landscape can not talk about Auburn for too long without Alabama being brought up. It’s like mentioning John Stockton in a sentence without Karl Malone, or discussing Wilt Chamberlain without mentioning Bill Russell. So, of course I have an opinion on the (insert word here) that is Alabama coaching.

I am not even sure what to call the Alabama coaching position. A carousel? A revolving door? Death row? A time bomb? The tide goes through coaches faster than Quentin Groves goes through their offensive line. I am beginning to think the guy in charge of hiring these guys needs to be looked at. The only list that dwarfs recent Alabama coaches is the list of coaches that have snubbed Alabama’s offers. Where does the confidence in Mal Moore come from? Sure he may have been a good positional coach in the seventies, but since becoming the director of athletics in 1999 what has really accomplished? Basketball has flourished under his reign, but remember that Mark Gottfried was hired the year before Moore’s promotion.

He has done a fantastic job of raising funds for renovating athletic facilities, and the expansion of Bryant-Denny turned out fantastic. However, Alabama keeps letting the guy handle the job that he has proven incapable of doing – they even named a building after the guy.

So far Alabama has mismanaged the coach-finding process pretty well. They offered Nick Saban too much money, and then did not offer Rich Rodriguez enough. Rodriguez ended up giving Bama just enough attention to get what he wanted out of West Virginia. Maybe Alabama should swallow their pride and go for a current coordinator rather than trying to find a current head coach. Every great coach was a coordinator at some point, and it won’t involve paying a huge buyout or an enormous salary. I just would not trust the guy who gave Mike Shula a big raise the year before Shula gets fired to him to find the right coach.

I have accepted that my fandom will always be affected buy Alabama football, but lately Mal Moore keeps tarnishing Auburn with his crappy efforts aside from screwing over the Crimson faithful.

(On a side note, once Shula was fired I put my money on Paul Johnson to be Alabama’s next football coach. I think he would bring the option back to Bama and force Auburn to learn to defend quarterbacks who run the ball. Let’s wait, watch, and see if I am as smart as I think I am.)

Christmas Cheer

Credit this to the guys at War Damn Tailgate...great work guys. Link


UP ON THE CAPSTONE
Sung to the tune of “Up on the Rooftop,” a timeless Christmas ditty.

Up on the Capstone Aubie’s paws
Scribbled Shula’s Severance Clause!
Down thru the season with lots of moans
All for the little ones - ICE CREAM CONES!!!!!!

Ho, ho, ho!
Five in a row!
Ho, ho, ho!
Row Tahd Row???
Up on the Capstone
Click, clack, click
Bambi’s a duckin’
To avoid a brick!

First four fingers, was Tubs that dumb,
To taunt Alabama with his thumb?
Plans for revenge UA did hatch,
But their O-Line stinks. “Pew! Light a match!”

Ho, ho, ho!
Five in a row!
Ho, ho, ho!
Row Tahd Row???
Up on the Capstone
Clack, click, clack
Wilson and Shula
Have both been sacked!

Mal dug out his big checkbook
To find a coach that he could hook.
”No!” said Stevie, as did Nick,
Rich did too, Now he’s a dick?

Ho, ho, ho!
Five in a row!
Ho, ho, ho!
Row Tahd Row???
Watch the program
Down the hole!
”Enjoy your
In-de-pen-dence Bowl!”


War Eagle!

I came here to get the BCS fixed, don’t tell me it works! (Scott)

Everyone is always spouting his or her thoughts on the BCS, so I know you’re thinking, “Great, now I get to read this idiot’s opinion.” First, who are you calling an idiot? Second, my opinion is distinct because I think it has always “worked.”

We have the BCS to create a championship game. Before the BCS the top 3 or 4 teams in the country would always play someone else, which was in some ways more exciting and in some ways less. Either way, a championship game is what we wanted, and a championship game is what we have been given. What I think is funny is almost each year the BCS formula gets “fixed” as if it was broken, when it has done exactly what we wanted it to do.

Take this year: only one undefeated team from a major conference and two solid one loss teams to choose from. It’s a tough decision so we have a formula that does it for us. In 2003-04, USC was ranked 1^st; however, it was left out of the BCS championship game. They complained about it to no end, and then maintained that they had won the Championship so adamantly that most people have since forgotten that LSU actually won the BCS championship that year. The complaint was that Oklahoma had lost their conference championship, and thus did not deserve to win. However they still went undefeated in the regular season and had more wins than USC that year. There were three really good one loss teams. Sure they loss their conference championship game, but USC didn’t even have to play a championship game (the PAC-10 has since remedied that by having each team play each other in the regular season). There were three legitimate one-loss teams to choose from, and again the BCS formula came in and made the decision for us.

2004-05 was different. This year Michigan should not be able to complain because if they had beaten Ohio State once, they would not need to play them again. In 2003 if USC had won all of its games they would not have had to convince the nation they won the national title even though they did not. In 2004-05 Auburn did everything they could. They made it through a tough schedule winning dominantly. However, so did Oklahoma and Southern Cal. I was not happy with the results, but the BCS did its job and picked 2 teams.

These are just a few recent examples but there are more that I will not go into (98-99, 00-01, 01-02 seasons). The fact is the nation title in college football is little more than a myth. A group of you and your friends could get together and decide to name a national champion each year, and it would have as much validity as the Associated Press Poll, the Coach’s Poll, or the Harris Poll. All the BCS does is use a formula to determine the two highest ranked teams and pit them against each other. It has yet to fail in that regard because it defines how it will rank them. Each year people say that the formula needs to be tweaked, but essentially it’s just reshuffling the same deck of cards. Every year that the BCS has wrecked “havoc” a different formula would have wrecked the same havoc just with possibly different teams. An undefeated team was getting left out of the Orange Bowl in 2005 no matter what.

A playoff fixes this, but at a cost that must be acknowledged. College football has the best regular season in American sports, because there is virtually no post-season; every game matters. This is important because the NFL has better football every Sunday. Professional athletes are much better, the league is much better managed, even the refs are much better. The NFL has a great playoff, and that is when I get more excited about it. I don’t get that emotional about a regular season game, because in the back of my mind I know, one loss does not really matter now, it’s not the playoffs yet.

That is what makes the NCAA football season better than the NFL’s. Each game matters, each game is invested with emotion. If you take that away, I’m not as happy when my team wins, and I’m not as sad when they lose. Essentially I am watching a game of football emotionally detached, and if I am going to do that, give me the NFL where defensive linemen run 4.5 forties, my stadium seats have backs on them, and the referees don’t blow games.

Many people understand this and still want a playoff. The prospect of a true National Champion is worth diminishing the regular season. What do I think? I said earlier there are too many opinions on television and the internet so I won’t clutter it up with one more. I just want you to understand the trade-off, when you criticize the BCS or call for a playoff.